What it Do Readership! TopSoil is a Blessin' to this Planet, and each and everyone of my bitches understands it. Its another overcast day in the great city of Compton, USA. Gangbangin' is heating up, niggas shot up a house party, shot a pregnant bitch, and left in a S500 Benz, Niggas is crazy as fuck. Even my neighborhood is getting shot up now, Niggas try to kill you in the morning out here. Fuck it, shit is just like Iraq except no suicide bombers, and cutting your head off on Television. Oh well, I'm still shinning my rims up, putting on diamonds and getting in them streets, Macking must go forward.
Let me open with my disgust in Mike Tyson. If Mike Tyson commits suicide or ends up mysteriously dead I wouldn't be surprised. In my opinion Mike Tyson is a pure coward.
A Message from the Mack-God on Friday afternoon. This past Friday I picked one of my bitches up from the LAX airport, she had flew in from Atlanta. My pretty half mexican half black hybrid bitch Yesenia, she treated me with respect, yet there was a current of irritation running through her. I stopped at a gas station in the city of Hawthorne, a Los angeles Suburb. A derelict approaches me while I pumped gas in my truck, the derelict eyes my pretty passenger, then sweeps his eyes across my vehicle, the derelict intones "Is this you" dipping his matted head towards my Mercedes Benz Truck. "Yes it's mine" I retort. The Derelict continues "Man don't ever go down. Don't let yourself go down" I said "Don't worry I'll try not to "he continued "Make sure you fuck her cousins, freinds, everybody!" he became more emotional, he went on "Cause if you go down they will shit on you!" I Said "Dude, I feel you, I won't go down if I can help it". The derelict didn't even ask for money, it was like he forgot I was there and meandered on his way. I looked back at Yesenia and she was watching the whole episode with a look of fascination, however the windows were rolled up, she couldn't hear the conversation. I finished pumping gas and climbed back into the truck, Yesenia being the bitch that she is frowned and asked "What did he want!?". I told her half of the story, I left out the part about fucking all her freinds & cousins, and the part about her shitting on me If I fell off. She continued to frown and said "He was just jocking you cause you have a Benz!", I just gave the bitch a thoughtful look, and turned the music up.
I was dolo Saturday night after the Mike Tyson fiasco. One of my peoples told me they was hosting a event at the Wilshire Grand in Downtown L.A., I was at that. It was an excellent situation, the ratio of bitches to niggas was around 3 or 4 to 1, I began stalking bitches immediately, I identified multiple targets. My first target was lite brown bitch sausaged in a shimmering pewter short dress dripping sex appeal, She had the same hair style as one of those bitches from that show half & half, you know that curly afro shit, and she wore matching stilleto shoes, slip on with the toes covered. She was a cold bitch, I appoached her, her name was Nesa, her smile had a subtle deviousness, I looked down, she had a tribal tatoo on her left foot, and she revealed perfectly manicured toes. I asked her if I could have the privledge of knowing her, she smiled and said, she had a man, I said I know you do, I said can I know your likes and dislikes, she smiled and said Im sorry I have a man. Defeated? Maybe, target number #2, a better female, a redbone, petite, more sex appeal, better tatoos, extrodinary smile. I appoached her, her hair hung to the middle of her back, her skin was flawless, I asked her was her pulchritude due to heredity, she laughed, and said "Pulchritude? Okay dude, you got my attention", she was intelligent she knew what that word meant, her name was Rika, Rika pulled out her blueberry and took my number, I let her put her number in my phone. I let her go on her way, I laid back in the cut and watched the action, I saw one of my Mack buddies that Nigga Helix, He approached me with half smile half sneer and gave me pound, he openend with a montage of haterism against a few niggas we had in common, I don't particularly like Helix, we compete against each other for bitches overtly, he let me know he pulled quite a few bitches already that evening, he had sweated up his linen outfit, I was happy when he left. Rika came back and was talking to me with a friend, I looked over Rika's shoulder and Nesa was watching us, it was interesting, Rika was comfortable, she had her hand on my shoulder, after they left, I navigated my way past Nesa, she reached out and touched me, she asked why didn't I ask her to dance. I knew I had the bitch, Nesa and Rika knew each other and they weren't really friends. I ended up with Nesa's Number, Jealousy Moves Bitches. I was sipping a coke, Helix touches me on the back, yeah I seen you talking to that bitch Nesa, I said yeah, He said she tried to get at me back in the days, but I was fucking with her homegirl. I said oh well nigga there she goes over there nows your chance, he said naw I'm cool. Straight hater shit right there.
Sunday after fucking around with Tineka in the morning, I got the Good 10 mile run in, and was ready for Macking. The sun was high in the grey sky, it was Diamond Skink weather. The Mission: The Playboy Jazz Festival. When Hugh Heffner is hosting it's a strickly Mack situation, Seasoned players, Seasoned Bitches, Just beautiful. I put up the Mack Signal (Like the Bat Signal), the only Mack that answered the call: Mill Gates! I scooped Mill Gates at his principle estate on the westside of Compton, he was energetic, I had a migrain, I took some asprine. Mill Gates comes to the Truck with a bottle of Moet, and a half ounce of purple Kush, we drink, drive and blow purple on the way to the festival. We buy tickets from a scalper 2 for $35.00, we fall in the event, the atmosphere is player. My migrain is getting worst, bitches are everywhere, we migrate throughout the venue. We go to the back row of the Hollywood Bowl called the "Alley", this is where every one is blowing weed, its beautiful, my migrain is now killing me. Gates is ready for the bitches, fuck it, I tell my nigga I'm hurting, I go to the first aid tent for more asprine, my day is crumbling in front of me. Gates is posted, He sees that bitch that plays Bernie Mac's wife in his sitcom, he doesn't hesitate, he appoaches her, he doesn't acknowledge he knows her from T.V., He's all Mack. She's impressed by his bravado, she kept it real, she told him she has a man, I told that nigga good try, aim for the stars nigga, you still might hit the moon. I pulled the plug on the day, I thought I was going to have a stroke, end up going home with no new bitches, It's part of the game, I went home and passed out.