Sunday, January 22, 2006

BossMacknosis!

What it Do Readership! Tha BossMack TopSoil is with you still, Some think I'm fictional But I's tha real deal! Anotha great day in tha life of your Mackman hero, I'm chillin. I woke up this morning in my king sized bed with tha goose down pillows and my first thoughts were, damn it feels good to be a Mack. I'm about to get in this 15 mile run today, I might run a tune up Marathon next month, Tha tune up is for tha L.A. Marathon which is jumping off on March 19, 2006. This will be my 5th or 6th time running tha L.A. Marathon, this year I will achieve my best time. I actually feel really good today, especially after all tha dramma last night, a nigga didn't go to sleep until round bout 4am. I'm good tho.

Last Night? Well let me tell ya what cracked! BossBitch Queen Tacoya tha Great (My Top Bitch) came through with tha Mike Epps Comedy Tickects out tha clear blue sky. Shit, I had forgotten dude was having a show last night, I was just about to fuck with Kay and do some drinking at tha bar shit. Let me give you my synopsis of what I saw, first of all babygirl had tha bomb seats, she said somebody gave her tha tickects, we were sittin' in tha 14th row. All of tha opening acts were tight, especially Scruncho, as a matter of fact Scruncho stole tha fuckin' show. It had occured to me when we were smoking purple on tha way to tha show, how tha fuck does Mike Epps get to perform at tha Gibson Ampatheater? Dude was not tight, dude needs to cancel that tour, During his performance I kept waiting for him to be funny, I kept waiting, and waiting, then tha show was over. I was like What! This shit is over? I was hot and I didn't even pay for tha tickets. Everybody left that muthafukka feeling tha same way, Scruncho is tha shit, dude is a fuckin' star for real. Mike Epps does not translate from film to tha stage, I don't know what tha fuck is wrong with dude. Anyways, after tha show we hit up tha Grand Lux, I had about four Mojitos, I was fucked up, Tacoya had to drive, we were on our way to her Condo when I got a call from my Ex-Bitch Kawanna. Now I hadn't spoken to Kawanna in dam near 2 years, thats right 2 years, I thought I was tripping when I saw her number on tha caller Id. Now let me give you an overview of this beautiful bitch, I had to stop fucking with her because she had transformed into dam near a religious fanatic, and she was trying to force her religious beliefs on me, I was like see ya bitch, I'm cool. I won't elaborate on her Church or tha Pimping Minister. Kawanna was an Orange County Bitch so she was a little slower than these L.A. Bitches, she was a Dime for sure, but she lacked strong sex appeal, we parted on cool terms. Now like I said, I haven't heard from this bitch in dam near 2 years, here's tha conversation:

BossMack - Kawanna? What tha fuck babygirl, whats up witcha!

Kawanna - James, Oh I'm so happy to hear your voice, I'm sorry for calling you so late, how are you doing?

BossMack - I'm maintaining without complaining, you know me, whats going on babygirl?

Kawanna - James, I'm not gonna bullshit you, I'm out here with a friend of mines, she got us out here with these Niggas, I'm just not feeling this, I'm kind of scared, I'm in tha bathroom, is there anyway you can come and get me, I know it's late.

BossMack - Well, where are you at?

Kawanna - I'm over here Temple Bar in Santa Monica, Oh James please come and get me, you can drop me off at my cousins in Hawthorne.

BossMack - Man, I got you baby, I'm a call you when we outside.

I looked at Tacoya, and she was pissed as shit. I said "Look, I know you heard that shit, this bitch is scared, we have to go and pick her up, you know where tha Temple Bar is, lets roll". To my surprise Tacoya didn't say shit negative, she was just irritated about tha additional driving. Weren't to far from there anyway, we arrived about 15 minutes after tha phone conversation, that bitch was standing outside cold as fuck. It was good seeing Kawanna, she was looking good as fuck, she was also visibly shaken. Tha bitch she had been out with had put her in a shitty situation, they were supposed to be having a girls night out on tha town, but that shit turned into some type of planned double date, which was a blind date for Kawanna, tha Nigga that was there for Kawanna was some Nigga fresh out tha Pen covered in tattoos. Kawanna's friend was intent on getting her pussy beat up, tha dude fresh out tha pen thought Kawanna was on tha same page, Kawanna was terrified. Tacoya chilled big time when she saw Kawanna, Oh and Kawanna was tha bitch that knocked Tacoya out of tha Top spot many years ago, neither bitch knew that though. I could tell Tacoya was hot, but she maintained her composure, I asked her if she was hungry, then we all went to Denny's and got some breakfast. We dropped Kawanna at her cousins house and we went on to Tacoya's spot. Of course Tacoya questioned me about Kawanna, It was to tha good, I understood tha bitches concern. Tacoya of course had caught Kawanna in tha restroom at Denny's and questioned about our status, Kawanna confirmed we had no status, however, this afternoon Kawanna called your Mackman hero to thank him for saving her. She also told me she had to change churches, and her religious ferver had abated, she also offered to cook a nigga dinner tonite, hmmmm, that bitch could always cook good.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your blog is funny but yet again I must point out where are the dimes? Its not hard to be a mack with the pictures of the bitches you have posted. Its like having five ford pintos and bragging about all of your rides.

D- said...

Mack,

You have one come back every week! Is it hard to work folks back in the rotation? LMAO!!

the peregrine said...

During his performance I kept waiting for him to be funny...

LMAO... :-/ I never really thought Mike Epps was funnny 'on' screen. An over-actor maybe, but not funny...

Miss Ahmad said...

I saw Mike Epps at a small venue over the summer, and he was high as hell and I too waited for him to hit the funny bone, but he didn't. It seemed like he'd been smoking bomb and was fightin' demons in his head..

he did have a funny skit about about having a pimp and an angel on his shoulder talking to him.

AlwaysSweet said...

And some hata said that Mack don't know how to treat his women just cause he calls them bitches. I wonder if that dude would have told his current girlfriend to go back and pick up his ex. You a mack but you ain't no dog. I respect that.

Ladynay said...

I am suprized Tacoya kept cool! Good for her!

Danielle said...

you look good hurr

GoBetty said...

Good on you for helping that chick out and the also to the other chick for keeping her cool...

GoBetty said...

And HELL YES get that chick to cook you dinner but always run from religion, at least the kind where someone's gotta talk you into it.

TheOneandOnlyInsanely said...

I'm suprised Tacoya didn't neck chop that bitch. LOL....But thats some real ass shit, I would expect a nigga to come "Save A Hoe" if I was in danger even if you with yo bitch. Trust me I'm not a hater.

TrinaBeingTrina said...

I agree w/ insanely..come save my black ass, even if you are with your chick. I wouldn't be mad at either one of yall...haha

T-Marie said...

Your Hot!!!

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