Monday, January 16, 2006

Check A Bitch Monday: Bitch You Gotta Go!

What it Do Readership! I am tha Muthafukkin' BossMack TopSoil, and you.... I don't know who tha Fuck you are! But I'm a tell you this, you are reading tha words of Cold Ass Nigga walking on top of land. I gotta tell you people, I'm feeling good as fuck this morning, It's a great day once again for your Mackman Hero, TopSoil is relucent. Tha pic above, thats my hood bitch Kiffany, Babygirl right here is a cool ass bitch, I love her like a muthafukka. You see Kiffany is tha type of bitch that never comes through empty handed, My little bitch will bring Groceries, Beverages, or Clothing each and everytime she comes to see me. In return I treat her lovely, or at least I treat her lovely until she says some dumb shit, then I have to check a bitch. Now with this bitch here, If you are not a seasoned Mack you can't this bitch, this is tha type of bitch that will fuck with your mind if she's see's tha weakness. Kiffany is about 5-01 and I think aoround 110, with a little Onion, she's a funny bitch, she could be a comedian for real, she speaks hoodrat, but she is straight from Jamrock. I fuck with her somtimes to get her to speak in Patios, for some reason she's so ghetto she's embarassed to speak in that dialect. Kiffany came through Saturday Night and we went to tha RockBottom Sea food resturant in Downtown Long Beach, we both had Blackened Salmon, it was excellent. The RockBottom is on tha corner of Pine Street & Ocean Blvd, Tha streets were crowded that night. When we came out of tha resturant there was group of little gang bang crip niggas posted, they saw me come out of tha RockBottom and remarked "Damn Cuzz, They comming out that RockBottom, I've been living in long beach all of my life and I ain't never been there" I looked at Kiffany and she started laughing, we headed for tha Benz Truck. Once at my Condo we stared drinking Remy Martin, and engaged in wild lubricities, you know this bitch is covered in Tattoo's so when she's naked it's tha shit, just like Zennia. Anyways after about 5 or 6 nuts, 3 joints of purple and a Coconut bubble bath we were laid up in tha king sized bed listening to those distant boat horns in tha silence of my home. Tha silence was broken by my cell phone ringing at 3am, I looked at tha caller ID, it was Wind Demon, I answered tha phone and went into tha other room, I didn't want that bitch listening to my conversation. I knew it was somthing bad because my niggas don't call like that, sure enough this Nigga Wind Demon had gotten into it with one of his bitches and was at tha Hollywood Park Casino in Inglewood, he needed a ride. Me being a good nigga to my peoples, was down to go and get him. I started getting dressed, I walked into my bedroom, Kiffany was sitting up in bed looking petulant, she said in an almost hostle whisper "Uhhh, What tha Fuck is going on, Where you going?" I was immediately hot, I could have explained to this bitch what was going on, but her tones fucked me up, I said "Look, I gotta handle somthing, I'll be back" Kiffany frowned and said "What Nigga, What tha fuck you gotta handle at 3 in tha fuckin' morning, so you just gonna fuck me, an go see some otha bitch?" I said "You know what, you need take your happy ass home with that bullshit" She jumped up and started grabbing her clothing, she was struggling to keep composure, then she blurted "Yeah, I'll get out of your house Nigga, see if I come back over to this muthafukka" I started laughing, I said "Look at your stupid ass, drive careful bitch" that bitch was almost in tears, she was out of tha house before I was, she slammed my door on her way out, tha noise echoed through tha dark building. I heard tha tires of her car screech as she took off. As I climbed in my Benz Truck, I started blasting my new Bun B album, then I fired up a Purple Roach. As I sailed through the empty streets, I thought about how easy it is for bitches to lose composure, I laughed to myself as I had these thoughts. Tha next morning I was at my favorite coffee shop doing what I do, when I got a call for Kiffany, She was like "I'm sorry Top, you know a bitch was faded last night, you know I love you Nigga, I said yeah baby I know, I love your crazy ass too."

27 comments:

TheOneandOnlyInsanely said...

This looks like a new bitch?!?!?!

BossMack said...

This is a side profile of Kiffany, My Hood Bitch. This is my grimiest of bitches.

Georgiapeach said...

lol! I see your an inspiring novelist..:).

TheOneandOnlyInsanely said...

LOL

That Girl Tam said...

LOL...yeah, tone has a lot to do with how people react. I was reading thinkin to myself that you may have opted to tell her what was going on had she not come at you all foul...yes, we're a funny breed (women, that is).

dragonfly of the night said...

Such a cold player, man..and reading philosophy..guess you are a true disciple of Machiavelli..wow..such a "rara avis".

Spexial said...

ok ok..bun b's album is the shyttttttttttt..... *singing* good weed, good drank, big money...me and bey rocks to that...

Ladynay said...

ROFL, you and your ladies! After all that the situation still ended in giving love! Cute....

Anonymous said...

James,
You have a great blog and some of the stuff you write about is off the chain and very intelligent! But I have one bone to pick with you brother. Your women are not really fine just the average looking street bitch. I know a mack like you has got to have a dime piece.

Anonymous said...

this site is awful!!! it is brothers like you we make it hard for the rest of us. pimping nor macking is cool player. get a job and learn how uplift sisters and not put them down.

AlwaysSweet said...

A real woman doesn't need any kind of man to uplift her. If she got her mind right she can uplift herself. I've never heard Bossmack brag about mistreating a broad; from what I've read, I think he treats them pretty decent aside from the fact that he cheats on them. But hey, that's life. Those women chose to get involved. He ain't pressuring nobody to be wit him. Don't hate the playa, hate the game dog.

Chronicles Of The Sexy Fat Chick said...

The BLog is interesting to say the least. It proves everyone has their limits of what they will put up with. Somes limit is lower than others. Nice blog Holla

Wez said...

You need to post some quality booty pics...

Zeezy4Sheezy said...

wow your fictional character is very thought provoking.... Ok dumbass in case you are too slow to pick up on the sarcasm, stop bullshitting with yourself and get off your momma's phone line writing about how you are a wack ass wannabe mack from compton..

Danielle said...

she must be a new one....havent seen u post about her before!!!


what it do!

TheOneandOnlyInsanely said...

I tell you about haters.

mrs.tj said...

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holla!

mrs.tj said...

Okay, you one cool ass Nigga Boss. I firmly belive if you ain't payin (the bills) you aint stayin (in my shit!) But I guess she does bless you with gifts. If she was smart she would have rolled back over and went to sleep. A really good Bitch would have had breakfast waiting for you when you got back. Some of em just won't ever learn. HOLLA!

NegroPino™ said...

Can u tell me what pultritude means ? LOL

JamaicanQueen said...

I don't think Mack mistreats any of them as long as he is telling them that they ain't the only one. These females choose to go to his crip and fuck with him. Now if you know a dude is messing with 50-11 chicks and you put in your application then that's your ass! I have never read him saying that he puts a gun to anyone's head and tells the to join the crew. Now being that she knew that, she should ahve knew her role. she shouldn't have asked if he was going to the next girls house, she should have asked if he was gonna be long and if he wasn't did he want her to make him a sandwich and roll another dutch. Now I'm not saying that she should lower herself or play herself but dammit, she knew what she was getting into. If you in it already you either roll with the punches or move the hell out of the way.

Dee said...

she aint that grimey cause no way in da hell I woulda got outta bed a 3am.....I woulda rolled da hell over!!!!!

That Girl Tam said...

LMAO @ Dee - i woulda rolled the hell over...heheheh...in hindsight, I think I would have too! HAHAHAHAH...

Dang I see may boy got folks throwin back that HATERAID!! If nothing else, this blog is entertaining - I was a bit shocked at first at the overusage of BITCH and NIGGA, but hell I talk shit too - so who am I to judge?

Hell, even my husband has become a fan of this blog - and as a man, he says what Bossmack speaks is REAL SHIT...it's life...and why are people HATING on the way this man lives his life - or HATING on their IMPRESSION of how he treats his women. Sounds like he treats them pretty fair and everyone has an understanding...keep doin your thang man...

T-gress! said...

LOL man she was hot over nothing...well atleast she had the nerve to call you back and apologize.

GoBetty said...

When are you gonna do a post about your virtual bitches?

spankmewithaspoon said...

My assessment of Kiffany is that her bloodstream was full of "attachment" hormones that would have naturally abated by a good nite's sleep, and that she would have left happy and detached by morning. Your interruption, plus the fact that she does not underestimate you, led her down a paranoia path. She and her hormones started to feel foolified. I like the way you were concerned about her driving> number 5's like that. Seeing it in you it is believably benevolent. What's with the 5 to 6 nuts. That is what I thought it is. And she thought there was something left. Us, girls need some simple rules. the margin for misinterpretation is too great.

spankmewithaspoon said...

p.s. I lie in bed and listen to the fog horns in Brooklyn. It is such a soothing sound. And now it makes me think of you.

Miss Ahmad said...

i'm new to your blog, and i think you're the only Mack i've heard of with a blog...very interesting. I guess that puts you in a class of your own.

your stories are entertaining to say the least!