Monday, June 05, 2006

Check A Bitch Monday: Don't forget them Shirts Bitch!

What Tha Fuck It Do Readership! Tha BossMack TopSoil be giving Bitches Rules, You don't like how I do shit, Fuck wit them Weenie Dudes, Weak Bitches! You know tha BossMack is feeling Great Today, I'm well rested, I had a Great Breakfast at my Breakfast spot, I'm rocking Krispy Gear, I'm Relucent. I'm fresh off a weekend of Lubricities and Hedonistic Fullfilment, what tha Fuck did you do? I't was hot as hell out here Saturday, Satan was in my living room blowing Purple wit me, I went down to my storage facility and pulled out tha Portable AC Unit I got from Sharper Image, He left after that.

Bitches, Bitches, Bitches every fucking where this weekend out here Nigga, please believe it, I love Los Angeles, Compton, Long Beach and Even Watts. Friday Night me and Yessina hit tha Block in Orange County to check out X-Men 3, it was packed as fuck out there. X-Men 3 was a good film, they kinda fucked tha whole Pheonix story up, yet tha movie was good. We walked around, shopped, and people watched, Yessina kept me laughin tha whole time. We ended tha evening at Friday's, which was packed with wild white dudes yelling and shit, we got drunk and started tripping to. we ended up engaging in lubricities in tha parking lot.

Tha next day, Saturday of course, I did what Mack's do, I went and got my Weekly Manicure and Pedicure from my favorite nail shop in Bixby Knolls. After that I shot to tha hood and stopped off at tha Hood Apothacary, After I copped my Purple for tha Weekend I was back off in them streets. Everybody was extra active out here on Saturday, it was hot as fuck, bitches was everywhere. I did a my obligatory ride down Crenshaw, You have to do that on them Sunny Days to see tha flavor, Oh and Bitches & Niggas was out there like a Muthafukka too. I made a left on Slauson and hit up Simply Wholesome for a large Bananna Protein shake on tha way to Majic Johnson's Hoodrat Fridays, once at Friday's I posted up at Starbuck's on tha terrace for a minute. Many, Many, Bad Bitches was out there, it was beautiful. I got a call from Zennia while I was posted there, she informed me that she had a few shirts for your MackMan Hero and wanted to hook up with me later. It was around 1:30 in tha afternoon when I received this call. I told her to meet me in an Hour at my Belmont Shores Estate. I would have had her meet me at my Bompton Spot, Oh I mean Compton Spot BUT tha Hood is a little Hot right now, Niggas and Law enforcement, ya dig? I left Friday's parking lot and arrived at tha tilt in 40 minutes, Zennia was right on time, I was pleased with tha T-Shirts she got me from "Up Against tha Wall", Some LRG shit, Nice and colorful. I tried them all on they fit to perfect, I'm such a Skinny Mack. She brought us some Sushi, I like them California Rolls, we ate and watched tha Dave Chappelle "Block Party" on bootleg. We sat there smoking and reclining, then soon tha lubricities began, after several rounds I got up and went to tha kitchen and grabed a slushy Gatorade from tha freezer (Im on tha slushy Gatorade), when I came back to tha living room couch Zee was still naked, but she was looking strange, inspecting her thigh and hip. I said "What's wrong Babygirl?" she looked up at me and said "I have a stretch mark" I said "Well, it doesn't look that bad, don't sweat it" She looked at tha strech mark again than she all of a sudden looked extremely sad, then she said "Don't sweat it? I have NEVER had a stretch mark, I can't believe this shit" I notice how serious this bitch was getting, I said "Look, It's not a Big Deal, I didn't even notice that shit, and even if you got one so what? Work out or sumpthin, why you tripping" this bitch was stright petulant now "What do you mean so what? Thats a fucked up thing to say, I'm tired of this bullshit, you never give a shit about what I'm feeling" Then this bitch threw tha DVD remote control on tha carpet, then tha bitch started crying. I like "What tha fuck is wrong with you man, you are fucking up my Saturday afternnon with this bullshit" She started gaining composure, then she managed to blurt "You just don't give a fuck, you don't understand" I said "What tha fuck is up with all this Weak Bitch unstable shit?" she said "Weak Bitch? I'm not a Weak Bitch" I said "You are fuckin' actin like one, I have never seen a Bitch cry over a fucking stretch mark, you need to take your ass home man, you fucking up my afternoon". That bitch heard that and was superheated, she started snatching up her clothes and getting dressed, I put fire on a freshly rolled jopint and watched her quitely. When she was finished she looked at me and said "Okay Mr. Shitty Ass Nigga I'm getting tha fuck outta your house" I said "See Ya, Oh don't forget those shirts, I'm cool" She snatched tha bag and left. I was shaking my head as I watched her from my sundrenched balcony dam near running to her car.

I sat there in my living room thinking about what had just happened. It's amazing, everything was all gravey and it just fell apart in seconds. I passed out on my couch, I awoke to tha sound of my cell phone. It was Tacoya, she informed me that she had tickects to tha Ice Cube Concert at tha House of Blues in Hollywood. I wasn't doing shit, so fuck it, I was like "Let's do that shit". I must tell you readership, that shit right there was like fate. Tha concert was off tha hook, Tha Dogg Pound Rocked like a muthafukka. Then Cube came and DID THA DAM THANG, no bullshit. Every song he did rocked. However when that Nigga did "No Vasaline" it was over! Niggas was going crazy up in that Bitch, I appeciated tha fuck out that show. After tha show we went and did our thing at Barry's, it was off tha chain as usual, tha night was electric. I had a hell of a good time posted with Tacoya, I was really feeling that bitch that night, it's amazing how shit turns out some times.

11 comments:

Nika Laqui said...

I thought you left that crazy heffa alone, 1 stretch mark????

Nika Laqui said...

What was you supposed to say, "ewww bitch go have that shit laser removed!!" would that had made her feel better?

Anonymous said...

LOL! Thats funny as hell. Why you tell her to take the shirts back. Those were a gift? And didnt you know she was crazy from that episode with her mom. Crazy dont stay hidden for long. Keep us updated on this, I'm curious to see what she'll do next.

Redstallyun said...

What is her problem? SHe need to get on some Paxil or Xanex- sum'in. When I was readin I was already to say maybe she on her period- BUT yall just fucked so I guess not. Some chicks do get very emotional around that time though- ask her if she bout to start. LOL! Seriously though, I can feel myself clickin around that time- literally feels like somethin clicks in my head, then I SNAP- no cryin- GOIN DUMB on whoevah's around. Tellin her to take the shirts was a smoove move tho' - let's her know, you can't buy a nigga's affections. Soon as chicks learn that, and that you can't fuck yo way into a relationship, the world will roll a lil smoover.

Miss Ahmad said...

well from the outside looking in her problem is easy to spot. she knows that you are only available for surface interactions, as you're involved with other women, steady on your hustle whatever whatever...she had a freak out moment and when you could have just taken a second and reassured her that you were the man and she was safe with you....you didn't!

I personally think that macks are limited to crazy chicks and chicks with problems cuz chicks that are really about something are too busy to bothered trying to compete for some dick time!

but that's just me....


Are you coming to meet us for the WCBH get together or what??

The Phoenix aka ThatGirlTam said...

@ Miss Ahmad....he did INDEED RSVP!!!

@ Bossmack...so this means we DO expect you to show up and grace us with your MACKness! HAHAHAHA!!

Maybe she has PMS...I blame all my abnormal behavioral outbursts on PMS! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Miss Ahmad said...

Most Def she had some PMS going on...Mack you gotta show a little Tenderness!

BossMack said...

Miss A - I tried to show show love to tha bitch. You all is tripping cause yall is WOMEN. Man I tried to be nice and shit, Man. Have any of yall broke down because you had ONE stretch mark? She need to get her ass out there and work tha fuck out, instead of complaining. Oh and tha bitch looks good, I couldn't understand that shit.

Nique=Dope. said...

"Satan was in my living room blowing Purple wit me, I went down to my storage facility and pulled out tha Portable AC Unit I got from Sharper Image, He left after that"


...That shit had me rollin.


Oh, and workin out don't make stretch marks go away lol. Better tell her to get up on that Coco Butter.

Atl_Mack said...

LOL @ calling her a weak bitch! Dude you are a ruthless mack, you have no fear of loss....the cop and blow mentality and practice gives you the balls to do that...its a great rule to follow....

GoBetty said...

If I cried over my stretch mark(s) we'd all be swimming. WTF? N's A Dope One is right - shea butter, cocoa butter, or vitamin E cream are the only way.