"If you hang around 9 Weenie Dudes you gonna be tha fucken 10th!"
Tha BossMack TopSoil (earlier this week in tha Nellas)
What Tha Fuck is Good Readership! Tha BossMack TopSoil is always adding on, Keep your bitch away from me befo you look up and she's gone! I'ts a Great Day out here in Sunny Southern California, Oh and you's a Lucky Muthafukka if you are reading these words right now, for reals. I got some love for tha insecure bitches reading this here, If you keep staring in tha fucken Mirror wishing what's reflected there would change for tha better, that shit ain't gonna happen, so bitch get you shit togetha, ya dig? I just came off a great weekend, an unexpected weekend at that, I'll get into that in a minute. As always I woke up this morning feeling good as fuck, I had a nice restful sleep, then woke up with a bad bitch next to me. After tha morning Lubricites, tha BossMack had breakfast at his favorite spot in tha L.B. "Egg Heaven" I wolfed down a California Omlette with them Hashbrown and OJ, Now your MackMan Hero is Energetic.
You saw them Oscars last night, They was Wack as Fuck like they always are. I hate tha fucken Oscars, I blew big purple and watched that bullshit anyway. Tha Oscars should only be like 7 Awards and thats it, I don't even have to name tha Oscars that count and tha ones that don't. All of my Oscar predictions came through except that one I thought that was "Money in Bank", And that was tha Oscar Eddie Murphy was supposed to get. Eddie kinda reminded me of tha character he played in "Dream Girls", in tha end he just kinda slumped away in ignomity. Tha powers that be shitted on Eddie for some reason that I don't yet understand, maybe it was just to many Black People that were up for awards. Jennifer Hudson crushed Beyonce with tha Oscar, But then when they performed together on stage it seemed like Beyonce tried to come out and serve Jennifer on a Singing level, which was funny. Also where was that Nigga Jay-Z? I think his Bitch needed his support last night, don't ya think. Then finally, Give it up to my Nigga Forrest Whitaker, I hope I spelled that Niggas name right. Forrest put it down in "The Last King Of Scotland", I got a block buster quality bootleg copy of that shit at tha tilt, there are HELLA memorable scenes in that Movie. I knew for sure that Nigga was gonna win that shit, thats why I put up that review tha otha day. Oh and "The Departed" had so many good muthafukkas in that film I watch that shit over and over also.
You don't See what I See, Everyday as Tha BossMack TopSoil
You know as I do my thang and politic off in these streets, I get confronted with so many surprises. One surprise that I got was tha appearance of a Long Lost Bitch that always did a Nigga Great, all tha way up until she disappeared. I have had sooooo many bitches that disappeared and I can't even remember thier fucken names it's a damn shame. Anyway, My lost Bitch Paula, came back into my life Via calling my Mama's house. Tha last time I saw this bitch was in 2000 when we had just finished laying up in tha Belagio for three days. Paula was a cool bitch, Petite with tha fly short hair cut that compimented tha shape of her head perfectly, she use to stare at me with tha prettiest big almond colored eyes, her voice was deep and seductive reminding me of Billie Holiday in her prime. Paula didn't sing tho, Paula had nice flows, I thought she might have had a chance to make it as a Rapper, she had tha total package, her down fall was her lifestyle and living situation. She ended up in Las Vegas becuase she had family there, But, after a while she found herself on tha streets and she became a prostitute. This all happened after tha last time I saw her, I think I may have been responsible for her falling out of favor with her family, kinda. You see when I came to Las Vegas to visit her she was still one of my bitches, she was living with her family trying to get her shit together, everything was good until she showed up where she lived driving my New Lexus which I had at tha time. You see I usually let my Bitches drive me around, long story short, they were cool with her while I was around, then they flipped on her when I left. She didn't even tell me what happened she just vanished. Now perhaps there were other issues involved but, I feel that I still played a part in that whole episode. Fast foreward to this weekend, Paula calls my Moms tilt, I get back in contact with her. She came to see me on Friday Night and whisked tha BossMack TopSoil away to Santa Barbra to a beachfront suite at tha Radison, it was a lovely ride and adventure with a long lost bitch whom I thought might be dead. I had to give it to that bitch for looking out for a Nigga on some surprise shit like that. Tha whole story on her adventures since I had last seen her is very long and included her going to jail facing prison time to absolute exhoneration. She still looked excatly tha same when I had last seen her, except she looked slightly better. She had moved back to Los Angeles a few months ago, she lived in an apartment Redondo Beach and was working as a beautician in tha Crenshaw District. Tha last time I had seen her she was wanting to become a beautician if tha Flows didn't bring any paper. She broke down and cried when we walked on tha Beach Friday Night in Santa Barbra, Tha story she told was so vivid and fucked up, I'm a Cold Ass Nigga, yet I actually felt tha raw emotion. I asked her over and over why she didn't let me know what tha fuck was happening to her, her response was "I'm my Own Bitch, I wasn't comming to you with my hands out like that". Like I said your MackMan Hero felt bad. You see I'm a heartless bastard, But I'm not tha Fucken Devil, I help bitches, I just don't let Bitches take advantage of me, there's a difference, Especially when a bitch has brought alot to tha table, I can't turn my back on a bitch like that. We had a good fucken night for real, Good Purple, Good Swipe Pampering, Laying up looking at that Ocean Water, and Good Food, I tried to just take it all in.
Tha next morning we had breakfast and got back on tha road, that ride down tha 101 freeway is lovely, you should do that sometimes, especially with some good purple.
Tha good vibrations I was feeling on Saturday Morning kinda faded when I got back to my stomping grounds. I got tha word a couple of homies got into a car accident and dam near died, niggas all up in surgery and shit. Next I got a frantic call Trichelle wanting to talk and shit, This bitch has been unstable since she saw Yessina on X-Mass. I decide to oblige tha bitch since I know she won't stop calling me, I arrived at her tilt late in tha afternoon. When she answered tha door she had this strangely happy ass disposition like everything was cool between us, I jsut went along with at shit for a minute. She cut on her flatscreen for me, went to tha kitchen and came back with a ice cold RipTide Flavor Gatorade and a bag of my favorite cheese popcorn. She proceeded to give me tha latest news and dramma from her world, she plopped down next to me on tha couch wearing a G-String panties and one of my old T-Shirts smelling like fresh flowers, she smiled and started to break down some Purple to roll on her elaborate glass coffee table. She finished tha blunt and handed it to me, I had to concentrate to keep from having a sucka swift erection. She asked me what I got into last night, I told her "I was up in Santa Barbra" she said "Oh" then she tried to control her facial expression and asked "By yourself" I said "No, I was with a Bitch", she said "I see" I studied her face for a moment then passed her tha lit blunt, she inhaled, held it for a moment then exhaled, she looked at me with a pained expression and said "James, I'm sorry about what happened, I know I was wrong for that bullshit, I was going through alot at tha time, I just over reacted" I said "Babygirl, Don't worry about that shit, I still got Love fo ya" She said "Really" I said "I sure do, there is no way I could hate a bitch like you" She said "So, I still have my spot?" I smiled inwardly, now was tha time to fuck with her mind, I said "Well Babygirl, I don't know if I'm tha Dude for you, I mean I was really depending on you when you flippped tha script on me, you knew tha business, I'm nervous about creating problems for myself, feel me?". I went ruthlessly, I said "Babygirl, I'll always feel deep regret when I think about us, We gotta do what's good for us all, don'tcha think?" that statement slaughtered her, I could see she was about to lose it. She looked at me and said "You know, you remind me of one of those X-Men characters, you know tha dude that can turn his skin to steel, what's his name? Colossus or some shit, yeah thats who you are", she laughed weakly then said "James, I only had one or two problems with you since we be kickin it, You know I'm a tight ass Bitch, why you gotta take shit to tha extreme?" I said "You know what? I gotta go, I made time for you babygirl, I'm already making Niggas wait for me" I stood up, I offered her a pound, she pushed me and said "Fuck that bullshit, I ain't no Nigga, Give me a hug" I hugged her reluctantly, I could feel tha desperation in her arms, she was trembling. I kept tha shittiness going I said "See you" then I headed out tha door. Tha street was empty, I climbed in her truck and was fumbling around looking for a pen, I looked up and her comeds Trichelle walking quickly toward my truck, I rolled down tha window and said "What's wrong?" she said "We have got to work this out right now, I can't let you leave like this, you not giving me a chance your being a fucken asshole" I snatched my eyebrows into a question mark, then I bombed "What!? You tha muthafukka that started this bullshit, I gots to go, I'll call you later", then she did something that I'll never forget, that bitch lost her inner fight with her pride and she ran and jumped on tha hood of tha Truck and cried hysterically, I was like "Wow". I got out tha Truck and pulled her off tha hood, tha bitch just broke down, I was kinda nervous now, When a bitch really loses it, that shit is kinda chilling, tha only way I got her off tha hood and into tha house was by promising I would kick it with her for a little while longer. That whole episode took a lot out of your MackMan Hero, I stayed with tha bitch anotha half and hour and I left. I put that bitch on tha rack for reals, I'll let her back on tha team tho, she's fly with reasonably low mileage and paper, I'm not a fucken Idiot.
Choppin' it Up with Tha Little Homies (Tha BossMack Off'n in tha Hood)
These little active psychopathic niggas running these streets with big heat don't know shit about Macking. Tha average Little Nigga that talks to me is speaking on Taking Puzzy on damn near some rape shit, Running trains on Ratted out Bitches that wanna be fucked on they hood with no condoms, Niggas having bitches jumped because tha bitch cheated on'em. I'm like Nigga! You's a fucken lunatic thats throwing bricks at tha penitentary. What really lost me was I was talking to a Nigga that was telling me how and why he broke up with his bitch, and how tha shit was killing him. I said "What happened Nigga?" he said "Boss, I was checking her Myspace messages and I saw some bullshit she had written about anotha Nigga" I said "You were checking her Myspace Messages? You got tha bitches password?" He said "Yeah, and she has mine" I fell out laughing, after I got myself together I said "Thats some Weenie Shit right there, We'll hey I must say thats a Bold Bitch right there, she knew you had her password and she didn't give a fuck, in reality tha Bitch fired you, BUT, she did it in a way where you could fell like you handled your buisness". He thought about that shit for a minute and was like "Damn Big Homie, that makes sense I didn't even think a that".