Sunday, August 09, 2009

An Ethiopian Bitch

Nay

Tha BossMack TopSoil Experienced This

I decided to do some different shit tha otha night, I decided to kick it with a little Ethiopian Bitch I've known for a cool minute. She's a very pretty and strange bitch, Her people are of course papered up to tha fullest and she is some type of film editor on tha Westside. This Bitch is also a Graduate of USC's Film School, so she tells me, I think she's either 26 or 27 years old. I've known tha Bitch a few years and I let her pamper tha swipe once or twice, her name is Naymhar (Pronounced Name Har), but I call tha Bitch Nay. Now Nay looks like a dark version Ethiopian Super Model Liya Kebede, Tha only difference is she's about 5-1 and has a cool onion, Liya Kebede is hella skinny and tall. Nay's pulchritude is ominous like a black cloud, I remember when I first looked at her, I remember thinking "This bitch is so beautiful it's making me sad", thats real spit right there. Anyways, I got to know her and she struck me as a strange bitch for real.

There is something about Ethiopean Bitches that is different that I can't put my finger on, something Mysterious. Maybe it's tha intensity of her Gaze when she looks you in tha eye, Maybe it's tha way she interprets African American Urban Culture, Maybe it's her father being some sort of Huge Bishop back in Ethiopia, Or Maybe it's some of tha words she used that I didn't understand when we were engaged in our lubricities.

I was invited to her Condo for a party, A condo she shares with a roomate right off of Fairfax Blvd, she lives in tha middle of tha Ethiopian Strong hold in Los Angeles. It was a beautiful night, This was my first time visiting this bitch at her new condo, she usually comes to me. I didn't know what to expect, When I pulled up tha street was quiet, I could see what looked like a party going on tha second floor, I still heard nothing. When I knocked on tha door Nay opened it and greeted me with tha brightest smile, she hugged me with enthusiasm like she couldnt believe I was there. When I entered tha party I guess I started to see why she was happy, It was a party full of Ethiopian Muthafuckas Only, I was tha only regular Nigga in tha house. It was a strange all eyes on me type feeling. She introduced me to some of her homegurls, She gave me a tour of her place, It was a lavish spot no doubt, Vaulted Ceilings, Picturesque Winows, Gleaming Hardwood Floors, Flat Screens in tha Living room, Kitchen and Bedroom, it was lovely as fuck. It got strange when she showed me her and her roomates Bedroom, It was a one bedroom condo and tha bed looked to be a full sized bed, smaller than a queen but bigger than a twin, I was puzzeled. Not that I gave a fuck about her being Bi-Sexual or Sapphic or whatever, I tripped off tha smallness of tha bed, inside of nice spacious room.

She seated me at her dinning room table, I was surrounded by bitches. It was surreal to look at this bitch in relation to tha otha Ethiopian bitches in tha room, There were many beneath her in pulchritude, but a few of them surpassed her and all of those bitches that surpassed her were being handcuffed seriously by tha Ethiopian Dudes in tha spot. All of tha Ethiopian Dude eyed me with a Mix of "Who is this Muthafucka, This is a Real Nigga right here and Fuck this Nigga". Over tha course of a half an hour most of tha muthafuckas in that party made their way ova to me and shook my hand. After a while I felt like she must have had me come there to send a message to one of those Ethiopian Dudes in there, like an "I fuck with Real Niggas message" or some shit. Muthafuckas was speaking in different languages and more and more people came, all Ethiopians. Anotha weird thing happened, someone put on some type of Ethiopian Music that had NO BASS and then they started dancing in tha living room. It was fascinating and strange to watch a lot of people dancing to music that had no bass, I just took it all in for a moment. After a while I excussed myself and went to my Truck to hit tha Kush, While posted I saw Naymhar come down. She came to tha truck and I let her in tha passenger side. She said "You came out here to Smoke without me" I said "Naw, I just need some air" she smiled and said "I know you, You are thinking what am I doing here with these strange people, I am going home" then she threw her head back and laughed. I said "Yeah, it's different, but educational thanks for inviting a nigga" I handed her tha bleaze, she hit it slow and let her head fall back easily, she exhaled and turned and looked at me, she said "This is Sooo Goood, I'm glad you spend time with me and not your other girls" I laughed and said "What's up with that one bed shit, if I may ask, do yall dible and dable" She laughed and said "Nooooo, We just sleep in tha same bed somtimes, in Ethiopia there is no Gay" I said "No Gay?" She said "Noooo, If you start to act Gay when your growing up in Ethiopia, They Beat you until you are not Gay anymore" I said "What, they beat you!?" I laughed hard as fuck. After 10 minutes of conversation or so she finally said "I can see why you smoke so much, when you are high like this you are in tha moment, you not worried about tha past, or tha future" I said "Very Good Baby, But I am worried about tha future, I'm about to bounce" She smiled and gave me a hug, she climbed out tha Truck and I was off into tha Los Angeles Night.

60 comments:

bleugod said...

Peace God!!!
"This bitch is so beautiful it's making me sad"...mannnn that is hilarious.

Them ethiopian women are some beautiful creatures. The thing is they stick to their own. Them Africans (for lack of a better word) see us blacks in America as some ol' house nigga type shit. I came across a few of them who swore they were better in breed and intellect then the American bred nubians and blacks.

Good to see you found one that was kewl as heck with u.

Peace God!!!

Tuotierugif >^..^<© said...

"they beat you till your not..." aw :( lol

boogie said...

Man what is it about these Ethiopian niggas hatin? I almost had an episode myself friday night w one of them handcuffin ass niggas. Boy I tell ya...

Good post my nig... Keep doin the damn thang!

A. C. said...

i woulda tried to get some head in the truck tho lol.

BUNNOBB said...

Hmmmmm TOP$IZZLE...them Ethiopians b@tches are quite beautifull to say the least.And OH yeah the onion can be make grown man cry...Reminds me when a nigga took a reg non/ethopian b@tch to an Ethi. eatery. 90% ethies in the house.This baaaad way 2 thick b@tch came in with some dark gray stretch like pants on.OH MY DAMN that onion dam near had a nigga cryin...I damn near choked on My Ethi- tea!!!But anywho nigga great tale....

Anonymous said...

There is a perception, untrue perception, among brothers, that Nigerians/West Africans are ALL assholes to African-Americans.

But quiet as kept, Ethiopians/Somalians/East Africans are WAY more funny style/racist/whatever. I've met Ethiopians who were on some "I hate niggers" white people-type shit. But they're shook and scary at the same time. With their big ass foreheads.

Alot of Ethiopians/East Africans don't consider themselves to be Black; they try to front like they're Arab and try to clique with Arabs. They are also seriously caught up in the light skin-dark skin thing. So don't think for a second that Africans can't be house niggers. Some of the biggest Toms I've ever met were African.

Ethiopians also think they're special because of Haile Salassie, and they think they're the "chosen people" because the Ark of the Covenant is in Ethiopia. It doesn't matter where the Ark is. If you're running to Palestine, oh er...Israel, perpetrating like you're "Hebrew", you ain't the chosen people. Sorry, Charlie.

Anonymous said...

Nigga all your stories have a whiff of bullshit. I know your readership is not the sharpest motherfuckers around,
but if this bitch has dough, WHY IS SHE SHARING A FUCKING CONDO????

Anonymous said...

@anon
Thanks for the truth about those fucking big head motherfuckers.
That is why I said this nigger writes a bunch of bullshit.

Hadassah said...

Jealous down Ethiopian wome are good looking. Chris Rock got himself one.

bird brain211 said...

str8 up doe..FUCK ethiopians!.they hate american niggas,and i hate they UGLY asses too.them mothafuckas come off the boat and got the nerves to act funny.they kiss whiteys ass.

and yo 4real doe.topmack do post some fake shit tho..i be readin dawg diary stories and its always a whiff a some shit that dont sound authentic..and alot of weenie ass shit that nigga be doin that TRUE LIFE macks dont do.if you gonna lie,at least make that shit not so obvious an shit.alot of shit be havin me like "yeah ok dawg lyin".and then its funny how every bitch he know gotta tricked out tilt in the hood somewhere,and she smoke "kush".then he'll lace the bitchs lifestyle with a few flaws to make the story sound legit,while still makin her look like a top super model or the baddest bitch you'll ever see.but by the end of the story,the bitch is a PERFECT bitch.

im not hatin at all.im just not a dumb mothafucka who knows when somethin doesnt add up..a nigga will call you a hater even when they know they be lyin.

Tha BossMack TopSoil said...

@Bleugod - Thanks for tha fall through peoples, as always.

@Tuotierugif >^..^<© - That shit was kinda sad to me also.

@boogie - Thanks for tha feedback.

@A.C. - I wasn't in tha Mood Peoples lol.

@Bunnob -Yeah some of them Bitches are REAL fly, but then some are just OK tho.

@Anon - I agree with you to tha fullest. Except with tha Haile Salassie thang, this particular bitch acts like dude wasn't a big deal. I specifially had a conversation with this bitch about that.

@Anon - Seriously Muthafucka If I was comming from scratch with tha story, I could come with somthing much more compelling. I don't know why tha Bitch had ONE bed.

@Hadassah - I didn't know his wife was Ethiopian.

@bird brain211 - I appreciate your feedback. Now first off, tha bitch in this story doesn't live in tha hood, she lives in West LA. Now I don't know if you fuck around in tha Hood alot, but most bitches can come up with fly shit for tha house. Some of tha most ratted bitches I know have flatscreens in every room and nice shit throughout their tilts, even if they don't have a fucken car.

Anotha thing, Is all tha bitch are not super fly. Many of my haters that come thru here really like to say I only fuck with Rats. So, I don't know where you got tha super model thing from, except maybe this post.

Tha BossMack TopSoil said...

Oh and this ain't tha perfect bitch homie, I said she was weird lol.

Anonymous said...

@bird brain211
Thanks for seeing this fool is just a comedy writer.
This nigga aint no mack. This is nigga is a fucking school teacher or something.
And fakesoil bitches in the hood may have a fucking big screen from rent a center nigga, but they aint balling like that. And you know that is the truth. Hell those bitches pads are broke down and tore the fuck up. I guess you aint never been in the hood. And that bitch aint really living on the westside, maybe the outer edges, but it aint Santa Monica, parts of the wilshire blvd not far from crenshaw is just like the fucking hood.
And those hood bitches who are living in section eight are broken down and busted.
Nigga get back to your square job.

Tha BossMack TopSoil said...

@Anon - Lol, You Muthafuckas is Funny. Talking Big Anon Shit, But yet you comming thru READING daily. I need that good Hate tho ;-) Thanks CupCake.

Hadassah said...

@ bossmack yep she is Ethiopian American lol!

EL3G said...

Boss Mack you extra relucent w/ this post right here my nigga. It's good to see another Mack doing his thing out there in these streets.

Stay Mackin, ya dig.

Peace

Anonymous said...

Na nigga we are just pointing out the obvious. Ha ha you whole style is stolen anyway, Iceberg slim, Donald Goines.
You are just repacking old shit for a new audience.
I love reading comedy so keep it up nigga ha ha ha

boogie said...

Man yall niggas is funny as THE FUCK! LOLOL cupcake! LOLOLOL

BlkBond said...

The comments on this piece was comedy. What's good out West. What you got on those Eritrean broads? I got one in sight, but the broad has a vibe that ain't steady. Speak on it...


Bond.

Tha BossMack TopSoil said...

@Hadassah - Thanks Baby ;-) for tha info that is lol.

@EL3G - Thanks for falling thru peoples, as always.

@Anon - I get it! Kind a like how Micheal Jackson stole from James Brown and Jackie Wilson. Yeah Chump, I am carrying tha torch for those Niggas Iceberg & Goins, cause there is NO ONE else doing it. So that there is a compliment to me Sucka lol.

@boogie -What's Good Peoples, These niggas is silly as bitches.

@BlkBond - As far as I know them and Ethiopians is kinda tha same. Like I said in this post, tha Bitch is weird, I have always thought she was weird. I can't tell you why either, but with that being said, I would still see what tha bitch is talking about, ya dig me?

Anonymous said...

Hey nigga don't get your panties in a bunch bitch. I just know who shit you are stealing. So do not get mad cause it aint that serious, I am having funny clowning your black ass.
You the nigga trying to be a comedy writer not me.
Ok sucka? Better get your ass back in the classroom Mr Buckworth.

Tha BossMack TopSoil said...

@Anon Fan - Thanks for being a fan, see you tomorrow lol.

bird brain211 said...

aye fakesoil,i remember hearing you say your name was "benard",but when you start blogging on here,you swore up n down your real name ain't "benard",and now you goin by "james" HAHAHA..i just thought i'd bring it to your attention AGAIN,since you brushed it off last time you WEENIE!

Jay Midnyte said...

LMBAO! DAMN can i borrow a hater???

Anonymous said...

@ jay negro I would hate on your stupid ass, but fakesoil is a better writer. Your blog is filled with nothing but the same old nigga shit.
At least fakesoil is a better story teller.
Did that answer your question nigger?

Jay Midnyte said...

Yea my bad anonymous hater I don't tell stories

LA_FIRE said...

@Jay..yo blogs SUCK gorrila balls!

PrincessLola said...

WTH??? The story was funny but the comments are funnier.smh Most Ethiopians are weird to me too. One lil ass bed..WTF?? Hilarity.

In regards to people who go on other people's blogs to hate...I dont get it. But I've never been one to cater th the opionions of haters and speculators. Hmmmm, guess you're doing something right homey. Keep it up.

Who lies about weird ethi bitches sharing fly condos with one lil ass bed....THINK PEOPLE.SMHRME

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Anonymous said...

OUR ETHIOPIAN WOMEN ARE DISCREET BECAUSE WE SHOW THEM HOW TO ACT,HOW TO EAT,HOW TO TALK! WE ARE NOT PUSSIES LIKE AFRICAN AMERICANS DISRESPECTING THEIR OWN WOMEN, JUST LOOK AT HIP HOP VIDEOS AND YOU KNOW WHO THE REAL BITCHES ARE!
LMAO @ Ethiopian Music that had NO BASS - YOU GUYS WERE IN THE JUNGLE PLAYIN DRUMMS, UNTIL THE WHITE MAN CAME AND TOOK YOUR ASS TO COTTON FIELD!DUMBASS MOTHERFUCKERS

Anonymous said...

OUR ETHIOPIAN WOMEN ARE DISCREET BECAUSE WE SHOW THEM HOW TO ACT MONY MONYHELP,HOW TO EAT FOOD FOOD HELP,HOW TO TALK FUK ME PLASE 50 CENT! WE HAVE PUSSIES LIKE AFRICAN HIV,AIDS WE LOVE DISRESPECTING THEIR OWN WOMEN, JUST LOOK AT DANCE VIDEOS AND YOU KNOW WHO THE REAL BITCHES ARE!
LMAO @ Ethiopian Music that had NO BASS - OUR GUYS WERE IN THE JUNGLE PLAYIN WOR, UNTIL THE WHITE MAN CAME AND TOOK FOOD YOUR ASS TO COTTON FIELD WORKING PRIMITIVE STIL NOW!HUNGRY HUNGRY HELP MONY MOTHERFUCKERS

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Anonymous said...

i'm ethiopian. i just wanted to tell you guys that we rather love niggas.

Anonymous said...

Check out Arkman West http://arkmanwest.com for some beautiful pictures of Ethiopian women.

mesfin said...

Sure Ethiopians are smarter than any nigga all over the world. You will be fainted if you taste their juice.

Anonymous said...

Hahaha one of the most retarded blogs I've read in a while.

xoxo Maria (Amsterdam)

Unknown said...

What is the point, of all this article? Why is the bad spelling, bad grammar and no proof reading? Upgrade your self!

Unknown said...

What is the point, of all this article? Why is the bad spelling, bad grammar and no proof reading? Upgrade your self!

Unknown said...

What is the point, of all this article? Why is the bad spelling, bad grammar and no proof reading? Upgrade your self!

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What is the point, of all this article? Why is the bad spelling, bad grammar and no proof reading? Upgrade your self!

Anonymous said...

The funny thing is this nigga probably has not had pussy since pussy had him. I don't know many niggas who blog. You probably some four eyed geek who just got introduced to the internet recently and this is your way of lashing out at the girl that you have always wanted in school but couldn't get. Step up your game dude. Real niggas don't go out disrespecting their so called "FRIENDS". You actually sound like the "BITCH" with the numerous mentions of that word alone. Mentioning all eyes on you, smoking your weed, and at the same time you were able to observe everything that chick had in her condo. Get out of your moms basement and go back to the porch you little porch monkey.

Anonymous said...

Story telling is for BITCHES! Seriously, I don't know a single "REAL NIGGA" that blogs....

TopMackNigga my ass. I bet you have a whole lot of fun with your imaginary friends while entertaining your 2 girl friends, you know the famous HANDS Twins...... RIGHT AND LEFT.

Adu said...

Y'all should get off the special bus. Do something with yourself instead of wasting your time talking trash. I'm glad there are good African American men. Don't be hating because you've been rejected by beautiful Ethiopian women. STOP HATING!

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