Monday, October 19, 2009

Tha Quest for Good Dick: Oh Donna

whateva Bitch

One of my former Bitches that I'm on good terms with hit me up tha otha night, she was lonely, she begged me to come and visit lol. I was in a good mood, she offered me dinner & kush so how could I turn that down. I jumped in tha Lincoln LS and floated away while evaluating the Blueprint 3 ("Motivation" is a tight Pharrell produced cut), I landed 15 minutes latter at her Condo in Cerretos.

I love Cerretos, I like tha laid back vibe of that community, It's very green, lots of Trees and Grass. When pulled up in her neighbor hood tha street was quiet and peaceful. I thought about tha stark contrast between this place and otha places throughout Compton and Los Angeles. I thought to myself "This Bitch is doing really good these days" I remembered tha Gangsterous apartment complex Donna lived when she stayed in Hawthorne California, She lived there while in college, when she Graduated from Cal State Dominguez Hills she stepped her game up, I love Hood Bitches that step they game up.

I made it to her front door, when she opened it I was kinda shocked by tha way Donna looked, she always had a decent level of pulchritude, but now she really looked good, it was like tha bitch was fucken glowing. Donna is one of tha darkest bitches I ever seen, but her skin was perfect, nearly flawless but what was most striking about her was her face, she seemed like she was Asian, but she was 100% African American. She smiled brightly and hugged me like I had came back from tha dead or some shit, I mean it was like she really needed me. She made me remove my shoes then led me in to her vast and spacious two bedroom condo, it was sparsely decorated, it seemed like her carpet was tha main feature of her home, It was a rich thick chocolate brown with hints of green, my feet loved it. Donna was a woman of sensuous taste, tha half dozen fresh Stargazers in a vase on her dinning room table and filled tha room with tha fragrance of fresh flowers. Her living room was an example of tha clever use of space. She had a beige soft leather retro couch and in place of a coffee table was a beige suede shag throw rug, her ebony black 42 inch LG flatscreen sat perfectly in tha center of an egg shell white wall. I sat on tha couch while she busied herself in tha kitchen.

She came out and and said "Nigga, you are always late but today you early, tha food will be ready in a minute, lets smoke sumpthin right quick baby" I said "Lets", she disappeared into a back room and returned with what looked like a hand carved african themed humidor that passed acted as her "Weed Box", she plopped down next to me, faced me sitting cross legged and quick produced a kush blunt, tha crystals on her magenta colored tonails winked at me. She asked if I wanted to watch T.V. and I said "Well, not really, whats up with you tho", she turned tha channel to a soft jazz station and handed me tha blunt. I said "So what Good wicha baby, I'm here for you, whats going on?" she said "Lots of Bullshit and Drama, what else is there" I said "Baby, you looking good, you living good, whats up with tha Stygian vibes?" she frowned and said "What tha fuck is Stygian" I laughed and said "Why you kickin rocks", she shock her head and said "A bitch low key needs a dictionary to fuck with your ass" she paused and was quite a moment, then she said "I'm Pregnant James", I coughed and said "Oh shit, Congrats, Who tha lucky Nigga? And why you still blowing Kush?" she smacked her lips and said "I'm blowing cause I'm fucken stressed out, I'm only a couple a weeks, and babydaddy is lucky but I'm tha unlucky bitch" I was like "Damn, whats wrong wit tha Nigga" She said "He's a broke ass loser nigga with 2 otha babymamas I just found out about, not to mention this nigga has no job, no car and it turns out no hustle either, this Nigga don't even got I.D." I threw my head back and laughed, Donna looked at me like she wanted to kill me, I said "Hold on baby, Im not laughing at you, Its tha irony" I passed tha expectant mother tha Kush Blunt, I said "Look, It can't be that bad, whya was you fucking tha Nigga raw like that?" she smirked and said "Tha Dick is Bomb, He can consistently put a Bitch to sleep, that Nigga could be a fucken porno star, Plus on tha real we been fuckin tough for almost 2 years, I though maybe I couldn't get pregnant, tha Dick is Good tho, but when it's time to pay that mortgage a Bitch needs paper, I'm fucked up". I watched that pregnant bitch hit tha blunt and exhale, White smoke floated like a ghost in tha air between us. I said "So tha Nigga has no hustle huh?" She laughed and said "I bought that Nigga a fucken pound of Kush after he was around here talking about how he use to have shit locked down back in tha days servin kush, then don't you know this nigga just fucked that off, Smoking out his fake homies that try to holla at me when as soon as he out tha fucken room, fucked off tha ReCop money, Im just fucked up". I laughed again and said 'You gonna be alright baby, yous a soldier, you still fuck with old niggas that was tricking right?" She said "Yeah, low key I was thinking about giving one of those old niggas a shot of ass and say it's his, at least a bitch could get some paper" I laughed harder. She passed me that steaming blunt and said "That Nigga was living here for a minute, You should have seen how broke that nigga was after her fucked off that pound, I had to blow kush on tha way home from work, this broke ass nigga waitin for me to get home so he could smoke" I was rolling at this point, she continued bashing, she said "It was tense as fuck around this muthafucka, then I caught his bitch ass stealing from my fucken purse, I was like What tha Fuck, I just had my brother beat tha shit outta him, he had me Fucked up" I had tears in my eyes.

Tha aroma of Beef Stroganoff wafted in tha tha living room, she served it in a simple white bowl, noodles, beef and about two or three kinds of mushrooms, and a hell of a brown sauce. That shit tasted so good I thought it was Crack Cocaine in food form. Before I left she asked me if I was going to a Halloween party a mutual Nigga we both know was having, I said 'Yup", she said "I guess you taking top bitch huh?" I said "Yup, but I'm a make sure I still kick it witcha, because I'll always love ya babygurl, you gotta keep ya head up like Tupac baby" I hugged her for two minutes, then I floated away in tha Lincoln.

46 comments:

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

that's some tragic shit right there. ain't to dick worth those kinds of tears...

SacTownGuy said...

"...Nigga don't even got I.D."

That's a classic line. As always very enjoyable read and nice break from my work. Now time to get back to work. I will check back tomorrow to see what your most loyal readers have to say. I am sure they will have something negative to say about your work that they think will show how intelligent they are; all the while proving to the contrary.

Tha BossMack TopSoil said...

@A.u.n.t. Jackie - I feel you baby.

@SacTownGuy - Thanks for tha feedback peoples. I look forward to seeing my little haters come thru.

MR ETHER said...

Nigga you have got to be a motherfucking masochist or something.
Have we hit your ass with so many lefts that you are begging for a right?
Fuck you sactown boy.
As usual negro your story still has a whiff of bullshit, let me point this out to the peanut gallery.
As I have said before if this negro only wants positive comments then let the bitch nigga say so. At least I can respect a chump that says uncle.
Ok again you pick a fucking city you don't know shit about. Cerritos is majority Asian nigga and the median income is something like 91k. I really doubt if a hood bitch that is stupid enough to fuck a nigga without id, has the cash to either rent or own a crib there. And since I am sure she bought at the height of the real estate bubble somebody lying.
And the bitch went to Dom hills? That is nothing but a nigga haven, is that the school for dummies? Every crack head in la claims to be a student there or either South west college. You know that is real talk nigga.
So I am wondering what does this bitch do for a living/
Also nigga this bitch has a big ass new tv, but still has old ass carpet. Your story would have been better with her having wood floors, nigga.
Yea and this bitch is buying that much weight, sure nigga, sure.
Everyone in the world knows none of these young ass bitches can cook, so was the meal hamburger helper?
Nigga you should thank me and the others for helping you with your creative writing.
Nigga stop making this shit so easy

LA FIRE said...

bosswack~

OMG!! all ya female encounters begin with the same elements.its a former ghetto bitch who came up,got a nice crib,big ass TV,perfect skin,and a mothafuckin sherm head.AND u still goin to these hoes houses on a humbug,and with no pistol on deck.now all of a sudden how did u go from a purple benz to a lincoln LS? i know damn well them chimpanzee t-shirts aint sellin like hotcakes.

DAMN man u forever lyin!


@SacTownGirl~

shut up nigga.u bosswacks top bitch!

SinfulLyo said...

daaaaaaaaaaaaamn. that is sad on SO many levels. but the whole "i didn't think i could get pregnant" line is old...females need to be more cautious! truth be told, i thought she was going to say it was yours L O L

LA FIRE said...

LMAO @ETHER

yo u did it again my nigga.u spit that truth!

Tha BossMack TopSoil said...

@My Lil Hater Bitches - Yall Keep thinking about your Daddy dontcha ;-)

@SinfulLyo - On many levels baby, you right.

Anonymous said...

I can't even bs you Jack!! That's some mean artwork that you come through with. That sh** always seems (in an eerie way) to perfectly illustrate the following tale. Good sh**!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh yeah, the Pharrell joint is "So Ambitious" but, good sh** nevertheless.

BUNNOBB said...

Once again a tale ret there...The fresh stargazers huh...Whut U know bout that there?I figure she should have been fukkin with a nigga that was bringin sumthin to the table besides excellent lubricities.TOP$$IZZLE that goes both ways...?

J Ru$$ said...

That NO ID line had me laughing.

Her situation is both funny and sad. I hope she can pull out of this one.

Keep it coming BossMack

Anonymous said...

Who doesn't have ID?
What is the trouble? It is easy to obtain an abortion.

nicki nicki tembo said...

Everybody want a good peice...but damn, to sacrifice judgement, paper and womb for it...nawwww

Anonymous said...

How many times has a version of this tale reared its ugly dome in the lives of various beautifull young tenders from yo hood? (Sic) then that hoe treachery ensues...

yostepdaddy said...

Lol that negro said "peanut gallery"... Nigga stfu and go back to watching reruns of Matlock...

Tha BossMack TopSoil said...

@Anon - I'm glad you felt tha art there. Nobody really speaks on that, thats a goodlook.

@BUNNOBB - A cautionary tale for Bitches is what it was. Niggas go for that one all day tho.

@J Ru$$ - Good to see you peoples, I didn't know you was still falling thru. It was sad to me to.

@Anon - She's not even thinking of an abortion.

@nicki nicki tembo - Females get caught up out here tho babygurl, shit happens.

@Anon - Neva said she was from my Hood. Oh and there is no Hoe Treachery, just a sad bitch, you gots to read deeper.

Tha BossMack TopSoil said...

My lil hater created anotha identity lol.

Anonymous said...

Bossmack, did it feel strange smoking with this pregnant bitch? I mean, I noticed you mentioned it repeatedly and in rapid succession during one part of the tale here. I aint judging but I am curious as to whether or not your concience was bleeding into your words on the page. I know you have a soft spot for the kids - although you dont always act on it."What sayest thou?"

Tha BossMack TopSoil said...

I'm glad you noticed that. Yes, I have a soft spot for kids, but that there was a grown woman. Oh and it was HER Kush not mines.

Tha BossMack TopSoil said...

Hey and I hope that comment wasn't from Obama, that better had been a staff member, how in tha fuck did yall find my blog? And I'm not bullshitting.

boogie said...

Say brah.. whatever happened to the check-a-bitch monday posts? that shit was funny as hell... good game too!

LA FIRE said...

@bossWACKfakeSOIL~

in yo last comment,WHAT THE FUCK was u talkin about???.nigga u need to stop smokin that lace weed!

MR ETHER said...

@LA FIRE,
The nigga is losing his fucking mind.
We have rained terror on his trick ass and its making him confused.
The nigga would really like us to go away.

Orange616 of the Good DisKrit said...

Does she know how many niggas out chere know how to lay good pipe??? them mofos a dime a dozen, like a pretty face..sh*t is not that hard to come by, what about the rest of the criteria tho?.. tha brawd is crazy in this scenario....ain't no way in
he11, then she phucked this loser ass nigga for TWO years?!?, LOL I could maybe prolly understand some emergency (dyck in a jar), but two years, naw this chic is burnt, as in burnt out, as in LUNCHIN, HARD ...LLS

Tha BossMack TopSoil said...

@boogie - I might bring it back, I'm thinking about it.

@My Lil Hater Bitches - I can see where people who visit my site come from.

Yall lil bitches can't stop visiting me, yall love me, Im Dad to yall. See you woke up today and came to find me didntcha ;-) Keep my comments fat for me.

@Orange616 of the Good DisKrit - Tha Game is deep and shit happens.

LA FIRE said...

@ETHER~

hell yeah that nigga done lost his rabbit ass mind.between us and them kush blunts,dude paranoid HAHAHA


@FAKEsoil~

me and E know u want us to leave yo punk ass alone.maybe we will,maybe we wont HAHAHA.

and how do u know where somebody from if they post "anonymous"?.in that case tell ME where im from then nigga!

Tha BossMack TopSoil said...

You from Bitchmade-ness ;-)

LA FIRE said...

ha ha HA! very UNfunny u african bOOTY scratcher!

MR ETHER said...

Nigga it don't matter we we from. But we see through your lying ass. And nigga you know its more then one bomb dropper and it aint the same person lol.
In that underdeveloped over smoked mind of yours, you are not getting bombed out of existence but are getting attention. That right there tells me you are bitch made, like a bitch that sells ass for a pimp that is kicking her ass, we abused your ass on your own blog and yet you beg for more.

Nigga you are a head headshrinkers dream.
So nigga do you think you are going to get a reality series from your blog? I am sure it has ran through that oxygen starved mind of yours. The only thing in your favor is maybe bet is just ghetto enough to give a Neanderthal thinking nigga like you a show, plus the fact homo niggas like you is just loved by many in the black community.
Lets see what would the name be.

1. Bitch ass nigga show.
2. The nutsoil show.
3. Neffe and Frankie plus a dick sucking nigga.
4. punksoil goes to Hollywood.
5. Housewife of jail niggas.
6. James plus a bunch of ugly bitches/trannies
7. Old ass kush smoking nigga that will be broke five minutes after the show airs.
8. The nigga wearing a monkey t-shirt show.
9. Dancing with a jig a boo.
10. Weakest mack in the world show.

I want my 20% nigga.

Tha BossMack TopSoil said...

lol

LA FIRE said...

ROTFLMAO @ETHER!

Thats REAL TALK!

Tha BossMack TopSoil said...

Thanks for tha Comments

yostepdaddy said...

Ether and la fire ... You slaves to the blogoshpere of Mr. Bossmack can use the following show titles for your own reality TV series (free of charge haters)...
1. So you think you can Hate?
2. Hating on the stars
3. One-old-dick-and-a-narc (BET)
4. Celebrity bitch club
5.Mr Ethers new BFF
6 Tha Ultimate Biter (brush up on your vocabulary NIGGUH)
7.Ice Road Suckas
8.Punk's
9.Dark blue (ballz)
10.The niggest loser
- thank me later.

Tha BossMack TopSoil said...

Thats tha otha identity

MR ETHER said...

@yos the bitch.

THINK NIGGA THINK.
Come on if you are going to attempt to debate me, could you at least come with some fucking new material. Don't steal my shit and then try to repackage it punk , but just a like nigga yus love the boot leg copy of shit, never the original huh?
Fuck dude debating your ass is like talking to a fucking down's syndrome baby, its ridiculous.

@LAFIRE,
Thanks but nutsoil makes shit so fucking easy,(evil laugh)


@ shermhead aka weaksoil, nigga stop lying. You know dam well its different folks lighting your ass up. I am taking bets on your blocking the truth serum squad anyway. Nigga you know that kush addled brain of yours is about to short circuit. On one hand you like to be abused, that is the bitch nature of you and on the other you hate truth.
Nigga you like attention so you got it, what the fuck you crying about boy?

LA FIRE said...

@yostepdaddy

ur another bosswack CULT member.nigga u just tryin to get famous.see me n ETHER the only 2 people on here with commen sense.

so are we supossed to be haters because YOU believe everything YOU read?.ur comment goes to show,that you'll fall for anything!.i wonder how many hoes done suckered u outta money and gifts hahaha.

yostepdaddy said...

Well while you are wondering such things perhaps you could try to learn to spell. And while you might be suggesting that im reading Bossmack loyaly by using the word CULT - keep in mind that you and Ether read every posting, listen to every video and MP3, and comment more loyaly than any other readers. I enjoy shoving it in and twisting on both of yo assess from time to time so please dont stop bringing your ignorant asses around... Oh and dont worry-bossmack aint gon' block you. I have no idea why Ether keeps beating that dead horse but Bossmack been saying since day on that he is appreciative of the constant comments and visits. I do too.

CashmereBill said...

I looked up the word Stygian and added to my lexicon lol. Thanks Bossmack. Good story, I think all females need to pay attention to this here.

Bill

MR ETHER said...

@yostupid, nigga if you are going to talk shit at least get things correct.
I have not commented on every post. I have just lately started blasting his ass on a regular basis.
His voice is to irritating to listen to him talking. He sounds slow, typical stereotypical no speaking nigga. Another misstatement.
I already made the nigga shut down his blog a few years ago due bringing heat on his ass.
You have not twisted anything other then that pea brain of yours.
nutsoil is in a tight spot, he really can't block us, because then he would seem like a bitch that he is. But best believe the nigga hates to see us cut his shit up.
After all no one likes bad reviews you fucking moron, especially an attention whore like fakesoil.
And you sir are using nigga logic again.
THANK NIGGA THINK.

Lo said...

i love the way ya tell ya stories.

LA FIRE said...

@yostepdaddy~

ha ha ya didn't like what i said huh? hahaha

last i checked,this was a blog,and not HARVARD!.by the looks of ur comments,english wasn't ur strongest subject.so dont cast stones from a glass mansion muvfucka.and by the way let me correct u on somethin else.NO i don't listen to bosswack mp3's and watch his videos.and i never did and i never will,cuz that shit bores me.i only read his bullshit posts.im "ignorant" but yet ur on here doing the same thing im doin huh.ya fuckin hipocrite!.boy i tell ya,thats a "NIGGA" for ya!

by the way EINSTEIN,learn to proof read,cuz u missing words!

Anonymous said...

Good stuff. But those two racist ass Pseudo player's are on your nuts...for real! Mr. Eat-A-Dick and LA Sweets - You two numb-nuts have got to be on the top 10 list of haters on the net. Do you chumps even work? Or, do you have competitive blogs? If so, quit hiding in the shadows and expose yourselves. While the essays that you numb-nuts pull together are funny at times, they really tell a lot about your characters. You numb nuts probably attend some suburban high-school in the OC. In fact, I would not be surprised if Eat A Dick and LA Sweets are the same mark! Please keep the racist comments – that you probably learned from your racist mom's and pop's – to yourself. Also remember that people who make racist ass comments on the web have no balls :-)

Anonymous said...

Surprised that I have not received a retort yet. Step up your game Eat A Dick aka LA Sweets....LMAO!

MR ETHER said...

@anon,
THINK NIGGA THINK!
Racist? How did you pull that out of your ass? MOTHERFUCK do you negros ever use the library for something beside getting on the fucking internet? You assume you know me, nigga you are all off base. How the fuck am I in high school and living in orange county? Is it because I know plenty of shit about the jails and the cities in orange county? Well negro I know plenty about cities all over the world and the us you fucking twit. Excuse me if I travel and read, maybe if you did the same thing you would understand that world is a huge place beside your little square block area fool.
I guess you think Cosby is a racist for pointing out how fucked up the black community is .
Only fucking stupid black people call someone a hater when they point out fucked up shit and bad behavior.
So you assume because I am not lock step with fakesoil coon's mentality then I am a white or some right wing rethug, wrong on both accounts nigger.
Make no mistake fakesoil is a straight up fucking coon jig-a-boo and worse then an uncle tom, he is even worse then the uncle tom Micheal Steele.
He is a pitiful example of black man hood. A forty year old nigger that wears fucking t-shirts with monkeys on them, brags about getting high and fucking with low life bitches. But of course you are to fucking stupid and slow to understand that.
So go smoke another and wait on your check nigga.

Tha BossMack TopSoil said...

@CashmereBill - Thats why I throw those words out there peoples.

@Lo - Thank you baby ;-)

@My favorite lil bitch - Write me more paragraphs lol

Lonely Stoner said...

It should be titled "A bum with good dick in sheep clothing"

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy; personality does not buy sex damnit! Now Ms. Doona is preggo?
Whenever I date a guy, I think, is the man that I want my children to spend their weekends with? lol